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The Worst Question to Ask When You Feel Stuck


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So often, we can feel stuck in life, and we may ask ourselves questions such as:

  • Why can’t I lose weight?
  • Why am I still single?
  • Why do people not understand me?
  • Why, why, why?

The worst question to ask are why questions, as they will keep you focused on the problem, and unable to find a satisfying answer. When we persist in asking that same question over and over, we stay in the problem state. Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

If we want to move into a resourceful state, we need to change the questions we ask of ourselves. The way to go about this is to rephrase the question and start with either “How or “What,” and finish the question with stating positively what it is that you would like to achieve.

Rather than saying, “Why can’t I lose weight?” rephrase it to “How can I lose weight?” or “What can I do to lose weight?” If you want to make it even better, add the ending, “and enjoy the process. The full question would be: “What can I do now to lose weight and enjoy the process?” When you start asking a “How can I …? or “What can I …?” question, you focus on finding a solution rather than staying stuck in and continuing to focus on the problem.

Another way to use your energy more wisely is by affirming the positive outcome you would like to see. State that outcome in an affirmation—in the positive, and in the present tense—as if it were already real. If you are not sure what a good outcome might be, simply affirm: “Everything is working out for my highest good and, out of this situation, only good will come to me and everyone involved.” The universe wants to deliver to you as many positive experiences as possible. The important thing for you to remember is to place your order.

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